A German plastic surgeon was made to feel like a boob after a number of his breast enlargement patients took off without paying for treatment.

Dr Michael Koenig of Cologne, Germany released a wanted poster that police were sure to take notice of — before and after shots of the cosmetic enhancement of the ladies in question, Bild newspaper reported.

The doctor claims that a syndicate of women managed to cheat him, each registering with fake numbers before escaping without settling the bill. One lady, calling herself Tania, took off straight after surgery.

“She said she wanted to go out for a breath of air and she just didn’t come back,” Koenig said. In the interest of doing its civic duty, Bild published a five-column picture of Tania’s naked chest, with the caption: “Is this the strangest wanted poster of all time?”

Charging around $12,537 for the procedure, Koenig has been forced to initiate an early payment policy. “Now I am demanding money upfront, pardon the pun,” he quipped.

Divorce makes strange bedfellows

A joke by comedian Robin Williams that divorce is Latin for removing a man’s genitals through his wallet seems to have been taken literally by a couple in Florida.

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A recently divorced man is contesting his obligation to pay alimony payments, not from jealousy or financial hardship, but because his ex-wife has since become a man.

Lawrence Roach, of Seminole in the United States, said that it isn’t right for him to have to pay $1,630 in monthly maintenance to his wife of more than 17 years.

“You know, I’m a man and I don’t want to be paying alimony to a man,” he said.

“It’s humiliating to me and degrading.”

Roach wants the law to be changed, to reflect the fact that he would be unable to marry his now male ex-wife, even if he desired to do so.

“If you can’t be married to a man legally, how can you legally pay alimony to a man,” he asked of the American judicial system.

The former Mrs Roach, who has taken on a new identity following his gender reassignment, became divorced from Roach around 18 months ago.

A US legal analyst, Joe Episcopo, doubted Roach would emerge victorious, according to Bay News 9.

“His divorce decree is basically a contract that he has to follow,” he said. “Alimony is based on their relationship while they were married, not after the marriage is over.”

For Roach to avoid the payment, his ex-wife would have to first remarry or pass away, Episcopo said.

International man of mystery

Do you know this man? A somewhat odd individual, who broke into the same house three times, cannot be identified by Welsh police.

The man, with dark hair and olive skin, aged somewhere in his 30s, forced entry into a house near Ammanford on three separate occasions. While inside, he had a shower, made himself a meal, and relieved the owners of a sewing kit.

Llanelli magistrates were unable to allow a plea to be entered for the man, who was remanded in custody, while immigration officials and police try to work out who he is. His name, age, nationality and language all remain a mystery at this stage.

“A map of the world has been offered to the defendant with no response,” prosecutor Laura Carthew said, explaining that he had been equally unresponsive to a selection of flags of countries of the world.

According to police, the man uttered something in a tongue believed to be Amharic, yet a translator could not understand what was said. At a hearing, a book allegedly dropped by the man contained writing belonging to a “small tribe at the bottom of the Atlas mountains” in Morocco, according to the man’s solicitor, Mike Reed, who said he had not seen anything like this in 30 years of legal work.

Latvian customs officers find moonshine pipeline

Customs officers in Russia have unearthed a secret pipeline feeding vodka into Latvia.

According to the border police in Buholovo, the pipe had been installed in order to transport homemade vodka out of sight of the local authorities so that it could be sold in Latvia.

For a long time border police suspected an illegal smuggling operation was active, but they had been unable to bust the syndicate open.

“We had our suspicions that there was someone running hooch across the border here but we could never figure out how they managed it,” a border policeman, Yakov Kabanov, said.

The pipe was only found when the local council sent workers to plant trees in the area. “They probably would have got away with it for decades if those trees hadn’t been planted,” he said.

Car theft a snaky business

Anyone who has ever been the victim of auto theft may want to take a leaf out of Radovan Darkic’s book, and protect their car with a 6-foot snake, though they should take a little more care if they do so.

The Serbian pet shop owner from Belgrade couldn’t afford a car alarm, so until recently, each night he’d leave the mammoth reptile in his E-Class Mercedes to deter crooks from stealing it. This seemed to work fine until it escaped, leading to his arrest.

Darkic confessed when he called police to report that his pet had slipped out through an open window and slithered into the engine compartment. In response, the authorities charged him with endangering public safety.

“I only wanted to make sure that even if I couldn’t take revenge on anyone who dared to rob my car then at least the snake could do it for me,” Darkic said ominously.

Parents resort to kidnapping to stop wedding

For those parents who aren’t too keen on their beloved child’s choice of partner, spare a moment for a mother and father in the US, arrested after kidnapping their daughter before her wedding day.

The desperate parents invited their daughter on a shopping trip, only to drive 390 kilometres from Provo to Grand Junction, Colorado, according to Provo police captain Rick Healey.

Lemuel, 59, and Julia Redd, 56, were later arrested and charged with second-degree felony kidnapping of their daughter Julianna, then aged 21.

“I’ve never had a case quite like this,” Utah County Attorney Kay Bryson said.

“It is strange that parents would go to that extent to keep an adult daughter from marrying the man that she had chosen to marry.”

The groom, Perry Myers, to whom Julianna is now married, called the police when his bride failed to attend the nuptials. However, the parents managed to keep their daughter hidden long enough that when they returned to Provo from Colorado, she had missed the ceremony at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Temple in Salt Lake City.

The happy couple are now expecting their first child. If convicted, the parents could spend up to 15 years behind bars.