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Come fly with pee

Come fly with pee

Come fly with peeAfter well and truly %#ssing his chances of promotion up against the proverbial wall, a Philippines Government official who urinated on the president’s official jet has…

Come fly with pee

After well and truly %#ssing his chances of promotion up against the proverbial wall, a Philippines Government official who urinated on the president’s official jet has apologised for what he aptly described as “a moment of weakness”.

Press undersecretary Heraclio Nazarano was reportedly a wee bit tipsy in transit from Paris to Manila when his bladder hit the eject button. Although the plane was thought to be equipped with functional toilets, Nazarano opted to do his business in the more spacious, not to mention conspicuous surrounds of the emergency exit door.

President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo was said to be on board at the time, but was fortunately seated well away from the cameo performance.

“I deeply apologise about all the shattered expectations,” a sober Nazarano told reporters via SMS. “How I wish I could deny it. But it was one moment of weakness I’m really sorry about.”

Not as sorry as the cleaners, we should add.

Father of sin

A US priest looks to have simultaneously broken several of the Ten Commandments after being arrested for theft, intimidation and unregistered firearm possession, The New York Times reports.

Police visited Father John Johnson’s home in Queens earlier this month to question the preacher over allegations he was issuing threatening telephone sermons to former workmates from a downtown school.

But the doorstop ended up lifting the veil on the clergyman, whose flat contained three guns and US$80,000 stolen from the parish’s not-so-poor box. Sources claim Nazi paraphernalia and porn were also on hand in the shepherd turned crook’s apartment.

“Both the diocese and the parish are shocked at this news and will cooperate fully with any police investigation,” Johnson’s church said.

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