In what may possibly be the most elaborate and dangerous plan to avoid prison, a German man survived 10 days in a hut that he built on top of a metal aerial.

The man from Werben, Fred Gregor, erected the hut at the pinnacle of a 72-foot telecommunications aerial in an attempt to avoid a 15-month stint in jail for internet fraud.

His plan was going well enough until his ex-wife Suzi, a 25-year-old who had formerly worked as a stripper, sent him naked photos of herself.

“I was feeling lonely and thought if I showed him what he was missing he would come down,” the woman said.

Bank thief approves loans during heist

An Austrian bank robber passed the five hours he was kept holed up inside a branch of the Bawag Bank offering loans to calling customers.

Guenther Baum entered the Vienna bank armed with a gun, police said. Unfortunately for him, the bank was next door to the Austrian elite police squad headquarters and so the area was promptly cordoned off.

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Taking a few hostages with him, Baum spent the five-hour stalemate answering calls from Austrians eager to gain bank loans and obliging their wishes. He eventually gave himself up to police.

Laws help Laws defeat lawyer

Golden Tonsils has survived an action in the NSW Administrative Decisions Tribunal after complaints were made about his on-air naming of a notable gay celebrity as a “pillow biter”.

The incident occurred during a 2004 broadcast of John Laws’ morning breakfast radio show, in which he colourfully referred to Queer Eye for the Straight Guy presenter Carson Kressley as a “pillow biter” and “pompous little pansy prig”.

In his defence, Laws said his comments were mere light-hearted banter that all his gay mates found hilarious.

But gay rights activist Gary Burns failed to see the funny side, taking the esteemed comedian to the Tribunal.

“I didn't win on this occasion, but I will continue in my mission to dissuade hate in society,” Burns said following the dismissal of the complaint.

Burns also claimed the Laws’ “souffle went poof 10 years ago”. Folklaw is unaware of whether Laws’ gay mates found that comment equally hilarious.

Hitting a man where it hurts the most

A court ruling has certainly added insult to injury for a young Italian man deemed guilty of fraud for not telling his wife-to-be that he is impotent.

The 26-year-old from Palermo, Luca Prodi, was fined 185,000 euros ($313,617) for failing to tell his fiancé that he had performance problems before she signed the marriage contract.

According to reports, Prodi had told his fiancé that he wanted to wait to consummate their relationship on their wedding night. But the court found that this was fraudulent behaviour, for he should have come clean about his erectile dysfunction.

Prodi was also slapped with court costs, along with having to cope with a fresh divorce.

A bite worse than her bark

A green-eyed Chilean woman is behind bars after trying to remove her husband’s manhood with her teeth.

According to police in Osorno, the woman was struck by an attack of jealousy, the Austral Osorno Newspaper reported.

“The wife said that this was the only way to teach her husband a lesson,” a police spokesperson said. “She said it was a proof of love and is sure the husband will understand and forgive her.”

Even if he does, the courts are not likely to be as forgiving. She has been charged with grievous bodily harm and awaits trial.

Teacher accidentally shows porn to class

A US substitute teacher could be jailed for up to 40 years for showing porn to her Year 7 class. But the teacher, Julie Amero, maintains that it is spyware, and not her, that is to blame.

Teaching at Kelly Middle School in a Connecticut town, Amero said she inadvertently displayed the offending image due to a malicious program that causes pop-ups to appear on a computer monitor.

Although the prosecutors have argued that the display was either deliberate or the result of the teacher’s negligence, computer nerds from around the world have come together in support of Amero. The experts argue that the malicious program cannot be controlled and not enough was known about its technical operations by the prosecutor’s witnesses.

Baggage handler

In news that should thoroughly disturb aeroplane travellers the nation over, a Victorian baggage courier was jailed for harvesting head and pubic hair from passengers’ lost luggage.

Rodney Lyle Petersen, 30, received a two-year sentence for collecting the hair from Qantas passengers’ belongings into plastic envelopes.

He also logged the name, address and phone numbers of 365 women in a special exercise book. This information was known to him because his job involved delivering lost luggage, making the story all the more creepy, given that he was already a convicted sex offender.

In sentencing Petersen to 32 months in jail, Judge Jennifer Coate outlined his numerous sexual disorders, which in his own words made him feel “in some way close to the women”.

Police caught Petersen red-handed when on a routine check, they found him pawing through baggage with items, including underwear, littering the floor of his van.