It has come to Folklaw’s attention that things at the bustling federal Attorney-General’s office might be slower than we’re lead to believe.

In a press release issued on 17 July, the following invitation was extended to those interested in the launch of the Sutherland Family Relationship Centre:

The opening will be followed by an informal morning tea.

TIME: 3:00pm

DATE: Wednesday, 19 July 2006

WHERE: Sutherland Family Relationship Centre, 383-385 Port Hacking Rd, Caringbah, NSW

Now it is expected that staff working for the A-G might have to pull the odd all-nighter, but unless the opening ceremony itself was to take 16 hours, they were some very overdue tea and bikkies.

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That’s not a crime…

It was revealed recently by The Sydney Morning Herald that Paul Hogan and business partner John Cornell are suspected of diverting millions of Hollywood dollars into offshore tax havens.

The two made a substantial cut as the co-writing, actor/producer team of the original Crocodile Dundee film, and had an ongoing share in both sequels which eventually garnered $US550 million.

From there it is alleged Hogan and Cornell used expert tax advice to funnel their respective fortunes to South America, Europe and back to Australia in an effort to outsmart the taxman. Hogan is also reportedly selling up his Byron Bay real estate interests to relocate in the US.

Naked ambition for man’s best friend

Never in favour of discouraging nudity in public, Folklaw notes that American Mark DelCore, 39, has launched a federal lawsuit in protest over his inability to sunbathe naked at Fire Island beach with his “emotional support” dog, appropriately named ‘Cheekies’.

The rules of the nude beach allow only for seeing-eye dogs, in part to protect an endangered shorebird, the piping plover. Yet DelCore, who suffers from an all-over body skin condition and post-traumatic stress disorder as a result of the terrorist attacks of 9/11, claimed he has no choice but to sunbake nude with his beloved Cheekies, who “goes everywhere with me and provides me with emotional support and comfort”.

DelCore said he contracted the condition after being forced to run, covered in sweat, from a Manhattan gym during the terrorist attacks, at which point his skin was subjected to a light dusting of a foreign substance thought to have originated from the wreckage of the World Trade Centre.

He claimed the ban on his Cheekies is a direct breach of the Americans with Disabilities Act.

Puppy love gone sour

In other canine-related news, Manhattan resident Alexis Carroll, 26, is embroiled in a legal dispute with ex-roommate, Michelle Clarity, 26, over possession of a terrier named Ollie, which they shared when living together.

Carroll is suing Clarity for a whopping $US4 million and the return of the beloved pet. Among the charges are assault, intentional infliction of emotional distress, negligence, breach of contract and funnily enough, extortion. Folklaw hopes that Carroll gets from Clarity what she needs.

Extra balls on the court

Starving the homeless in Vegas

In a country where the number one health risk for adults is obesity, Las Vegas City Council has made it illegal to hand food to the homeless.

The law is designed to dissuade mobile soup kitchens from setting up around city parks. Council officials hope this will encourage transients to move to government sanctioned centres or charities, freeing up the parks for decent, law abiding folk.

Civil libertarians are outraged by the legislation. They claim the definition of a ‘homeless person’ in the Act as an indigent “whom a reasonable ordinary person would believe to be entitled to apply for or receive assistance” is blatantly discriminatory.

Allen Lichtenstein, lawyer for the American Civil Liberties Union of Nevada said the definition should render the law unenforceable.

“The ordinance is clearly unconstitutional and nonsensical,” he said. “How are you going to know, without a financial statement, who's poor and who's not poor?”

On a charitable note…

Prostate cancer is the most common form of cancer in males. One in eleven men in Australia will develop prostate cancer, and for a son or brother of a sufferer, the risk is two to three times higher. Approximately 11,000 men are diagnosed with prostate cancer, with approximately 2,500 dying each year.

The good news is that the Mater Medical Research Institute (MMRI) is leading the world with revolutionary research which could save these lives. Professor Derek Hart leads a dedicated team developing a vaccine to cure this disease. Given the demographic of most leading law firms in Australia, MMRI is appealing for support to find a cure. The MMRI’s annual Gala Dinner is being held on Saturday 19 August at the Brisbane Hilton with guest speaker Dr Karl Kruszelnicki.

Bookings can be made at www.materfoundation.com.au or contact LOUD events on (07) 3847 7528. Tickets are $150 or $1,500 ($500 is tax deductible) for a table of 10.

So come along to the dinner and support the advancement of medical research.