‘Clanker’ is the one slur I’m comfortable with

It was going to be an easy article: the return of the long lunch. It’s an inoffensive topic that I have a few settled views about. I have some minor anecdotes. I have some gentle suggestions to share with readers. I also like to think I have a reasonably assured writing style widely available online that I could direct the chatbot to, thereby increasing the likelihood of the AI’s first cut approximating what mine would have been.

My prompt reached towards 300 words, with a brief of a 600-word article. A fair ratio, I thought.

The outcome was populated by em-dashes, oddly emboldened text, and little word salads that had the cadence of jokes but which didn’t stand up to scrutiny (including one hilarious riff about waiters who care too much about artisanal burrata. You know that classic real-life scenario? Waiters who are obsessed with different kinds of burrata, the cheese you can buy in every supermarket? Very funny stuff.)

You already know the balance. A fairly strong 4.9 out of 10 effort; an article that had the faintest whiff of authenticity and which, if squinting from a metre or two away, I might have thought passed for my own work at its most distracted and pedestrian.

And that’s fine! Pretty much the same performance I got when ChatGPT first popped onto the scene around four years ago. Nothing much had changed, except my expectations had increased slightly. “This stuff is so ubiquitous,” I thought. “Surely it can’t still be how it used to be when I first tried it a few times?”

It is. From my pilot’s seat: after the frisson we all felt in 2022, progress has been glacial.

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And, while there’s a chance that may not be the situation in the long term, frustration lingers. One wonders how much of the cost of the aforementioned software licences arises from the glorified semi-competent autocorrect our machines are now burdened with. Perhaps this is the reason the search function in Outlook no longer works?

While AI might be coming to an op-ed or a draft Commercial List Statement near you, don’t expect it to be of much use while it’s there. Until it is, I will raise a Clam Bar-inspired Crodino Spritz to your health, and to the health of the humans in the cockpit with you.

Editor’s post-script: Here is the prompt the author advises he used with Microsoft Co-Pilot on 19 February 2026. The text is published as provided by the author and has not been edited by Momentum Media.

“Could you please draft a 600-word piece that complies with widely accepted op-ed standards for legal publications. The piece will be about the "return of the long lunch" and will deal with how entertaining guests in restaurants can form part of a contemporary strategy for building a legal practice. I would like the article to discuss different types of long lunch that might be used in 2026 and draw attention to two examples I have used. One example is a close, intimate lunch with a mentor or regular referrer. Another example is a larger lunch of 12 to 20 people paid for by my firm. Neither has a firm goal in mind but is intended to be an act of generosity. This current version of the long lunch might be contrasted with a "pale male stale" cliche of a long lunch where old white men might drink powerful red wine and eat large steak, or drink many Tsingtao beers with a lunch of good Chinese food. The article might discuss alcohol. The article might say that the author (without judgment) says everyone will make their own choice about drinking and how much to drink. The article will share the author's experience of not drinking any alcohol. The article will acknowledge this changes the dynamic of a traditional boozy long lunch, but can end up in a fruitful comparison of spritzes based on San Bitter and those based on Crodino. The article ought to also deal with how this strategy is a good way to support local hospitality businesses and pave the way for more vibrance in the CBD and other places. The tone should be playful. The author is James d’Apice whose tone can be found from the online video series, Coffee and a Case Note.”

James d’Apice is the founder and principal of Gravamen.