Speaking at a Clayton Utz event, Ms Haydar, alongside long-time friend and Clayton Utz lawyer Miriam Makki, explored domestic and family violence in Australia and how victims can be further supported.

In terms of what companies can do to support victims, workplaces can offer domestic violence leave – something Clayton Utz does – and offer flexible working conditions for those going through counselling or recovery.

“The Commonwealth Bank launched their DV package recently, where they’re going to support people with a $5,000 payment, whether or not they’re actually banking with them. And the way that they identified this need was because one of their customers reported that her former partner was using Pay ID to send her 1¢ transfers and an abusive message. Because she had blocked him in every other way,” Ms Haydar explained.

“So, they developed some technology that picks up these irregular transactions and can identify when that abuse is taking place. So, I think, sometimes, it’s about listening to people’s experiences, checking whether the tech is safe, checking whether people can actually come in safely and travel home safely, checking in on people who have reported or might be experiencing abuse, identifying red flags – because sometimes, you might pick up on something that that person is still in denial about or not identifying.”

Colleagues and friends can also “empower” victims who may not have identified their abuse or be unwilling to report it, by calling 1800RESPECT and obtaining resources on how to support victims without pushing them to go straight to the police. Moving forward, Ms Haydar said that more education is needed – not just in workplaces, but for the younger generation too.

“In terms of what’s next, I would like to see more money for primary prevention, working in schools, because I feel like there’s only so far you can get with people who have already decided where they stand and are set in their ways,” she said.

“And there hasn’t been enough work in schools; I’ve walked into rooms with young people where young girls think that things that are actually emotional abuse are really romantic – and that’s because movies and popular culture might make it out to be. And I think we should also absolutely have funding for the women’s health services and for specific specialised trauma centres for women.”

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The Illawarra Women’s Health Centre is currently working on establishing such a centre – which will be the first specialised trauma recovery centre in the state. These types of trauma centres, Ms Haydar said, are especially important for victims who may need long-term counselling and long-term coping strategies.

Ms Haydar’s own journey of coping with her mother’s violent murder is outlined in her book, which she hopes can help other victims feel “validated and heard”, in addition to bringing further attention to domestic violence across the country.

“For people who haven’t [experienced DV], I hope it allows them to step into those shoes for a little while and to see the world from a perspective that hasn’t actually been represented in literature in Australia very much,” she said.

“Our literary landscape is becoming more diverse, and we’re at a special point where lots of Arab writers and Muslim women writers are beginning to write amazing stories from their lives – and by learning through their words, I think we have a really wonderful opportunity to connect with lives and stories outside of our own experiences.”

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