Why more women are choosing divorce later in life – and what lawyers need to know

Speaking with Lawyers Weekly, Cassandra Kalpaxis, the director of Kalpaxis Legal, offered a frontline perspective on the rising trend of midlife divorce, explaining how what was once considered taboo is now becoming an empowering choice.

“I think women in their 40s and 50s are choosing divorce because it is becoming more socially acceptable than it previously was. The stigma associated with divorce is no longer there in the same way it was in past generations, which women in that age group would have grown up with,” she said.

“Women in this age group are also becoming more aware of the issues in their relationships and the options available to them – options that were not previously accessible.”

Alongside shifting social attitudes, Kalpaxis noted that increased financial independence and professional participation have placed many women in a stronger position to leave unhappy or unfulfilling relationships.

“Financial independence, the ability to generate income on their own, to obtain housing, and to manage life independently are all significant factors influencing the trend of divorce in this age bracket,” she said.

Kalpaxis also pointed to a deeper change in how society defines commitment, especially for women raised to believe that enduring a difficult marriage was simply part of the deal.

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“It is also no longer socially acceptable to think that staying in a miserable marriage is just what marriage is supposed to be. That was often the narrative passed down from mothers and grandmothers, who would say: ‘You just put up with that because that’s marriage.’ That idea no longer holds weight,” she said.

Why lawyers must understand divorce and menopause together

An often overlooked aspect of this growing trend is the overlap between divorce and menopause, with many women navigating both transitions simultaneously – a combination that can intensify emotional, physical, and even cognitive strain.

Recognising this reality, Kalpaxis explained that, as with any significant life stage, family lawyers should approach clients experiencing perimenopause or menopause with empathy, respect, and an understanding of what they are going through.

“I think perimenopause and menopause can certainly influence the way you engage with a client. But like with any life stage, where one chapter is closing and another is beginning, you should approach people going through the stress of separation with empathy, respect, and space to reflect without pressure,” she said.

To support women experiencing perimenopause and menopause in a respectful and informed way, Kalpaxis urges lawyers to collaborate closely with their clients’ support networks, ensuring legal advice is delivered at an appropriate pace and fully understood.

“You need to work with their support team, whether that’s their GP, psychologist, or counsellor, to ensure they feel as supported as possible throughout the process,” she said.

“People going through menopause might need extra time to read and reflect on information. Brain fog is a very real symptom many women experience during this stage, and they may struggle to process things quickly or on the spot.”

For practitioners, she shared that means “preparing materials early, giving them the opportunity to ask questions, and allowing time for them to process and provide instructions at their own pace”.

Moving away from one-size-fits-all lawyering

While Kalpaxis doesn’t believe lawyers need specific training on menopause, she does believe a broader shift in mindset and education is needed across the profession.

“Do I think lawyers working in family law should receive training specifically about menopause? Not necessarily. I think they need general training on how to work with clients experiencing major life events. That could include menopause, domestic violence, chronic health conditions, or neurodivergence,” she said.

She emphasised that lawyers need to tailor their communication styles to how each client processes information, recognising that everyone absorbs and understands things differently.

“Some clients may need things explained differently. They might be visual learners or prefer information in a structured format. Others may be more emotionally driven and need a different approach when it comes to numbers or legal advice,” she said.

To address this, Kalpaxis said lawyers must move away from a one-size-fits-all model and instead tailor their support to meet each client’s individual needs and preferences.

“This one-size-fits-all approach in law, where we send long, formal letters and consider our duty fulfilled, is not good enough. I experienced this just yesterday,” she said.

“We had a barrister who was fantastic, but they explained everything in a numbers-driven way. The client was emotionally driven and valued sentimental aspects, not financial ones. She couldn’t understand the advice until it was explained differently.”

She added: “That’s the gap we need to close as lawyers. Just like you can’t teach a classroom of 30 kids in the same way and expect them all to succeed, we can’t treat every client the same and expect them to engage and understand in the same way.”

Practical steps to implement

To better support the growing number of women filing for divorce later in life, Kalpaxis emphasised the need for lawyers to implement more thoughtful and effective strategies throughout the client journey.

“I absolutely believe better steps can be taken from the moment a client contacts your office to the moment they leave, to ensure you’re delivering a supportive experience,” she said.

At her own firm, she shared how she has made changes to ensure each client feels seen and supported, starting from the very first interaction.

“At my office, we’ve started asking each client: ‘How do you work best?’ We ask what we can do to work with them in a way that will deliver the best outcomes. Are they a meeting person, a letter person, or a phone person? Do they benefit from visual aids in meetings, or from a voice memo or recording? What do they need?” she said.

“We’re getting much better results because of this, not only in how well people work with us, but also in their understanding of what’s going on. So yes, I absolutely think that’s important.”