Sink your teeth into the 2017 edition of the best and worst jokes the online legal community has to offer – now with 100 per cent more memes.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three – one to climb the ladder, one to shake it and one to sue the ladder company.
A man phones a lawyer and asks, “How much would you charge for just answering three simple questions?”.
The lawyer replies, “A thousand dollars”.
“A thousand dollars!” exclaims the man. “That’s very expensive, isn’t it?”
“It certainly is,” says the lawyer. “Now, what’s your third question?”
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean and they got to talking. The lawyer mentioned, “I’m here because my house burned down and everything got destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.”
“That’s quite a coincidence,” remarked the engineer. “I’m here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood. My insurance company, too, paid for everything.”
There was a brief pause and then the puzzled lawyer asked, “How do you start a flood?”.
A lawyer emailed a client: “Dear Jennifer: Thought I saw you on the street the other day. Crossed over to say hello, but it wasn’t you, so I went back. One tenth of an hour: $30.”
A man walking on the beach came across an odd-looking bottle. Not being one to ignore tradition, he rubbed it and, much to his surprise, a genie actually appeared.
“For releasing me from the bottle, I will grant you three wishes,” said the genie. “But there’s a catch. For each of your wishes, every lawyer in the world will receive double what you asked for.”
First, the man wished for a Ferrari. POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of him.
“Now every lawyer in the world has been given two Ferraris,” said the genie. “What is your next wish?”
“I could really use a million dollars,” replied the man, and POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
“Now, every lawyer in the world is two million dollars richer,” the genie reminded the man, and then asked him for his third wish.
The man thought for a minute and said, “Well, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney”.
Q: What’s wrong with lawyer jokes?
A: Lawyers don’t think they’re funny and other people don’t think they’re jokes.
Check out part one here!