find the latest legal job
Inhouse Legal Counsel -18 months-4 PAE - Real Estate Investment Company
Category: Banking and Finance Law | Location: Melbourne CBD & Inner Suburbs Melbourne VIC
· In brand new prestigious CBD offices
View details
Senior Associate - Competition, Policy & Regulatory
Category: Other | Location: Sydney CBD, Inner West & Eastern Suburbs Sydney NSW
· Work with a well regarded Partner · Sydney CBD
View details
Commercial Litigation Senior Associate
Category: Litigation and Dispute Resolution | Location: Sydney CBD, Inner West & Eastern Suburbs Sydney NSW
· Lawyers Weekly Australia Partner of the Year 2016, Insolvency
View details
MULTIPLEX Regional Legal Counsel (Vic) | 7 to 10 years + PQE
Category: Generalists - In House | Location: Melbourne CBD & Inner Suburbs Melbourne VIC
· Career defining in-house role · Tier One international contractor
View details
Junior Lawyer - Personal Injury Law
Category: Personal Injury Law | Location: Parramatta & Western Suburbs Sydney NSW
· Highly specialized practice · Challenging role with great opportunities
View details
World's best (and worst) lawyer jokes: part 2

World's best (and worst) lawyer jokes: part 2

Teacup

In a demanding profession like the law, it can be easy to forget about the lighter side of things. Fortunately, Lawyers Weekly has curated some of the best (and worst) law jokes on the internet to brighten up your day. 

Sink your teeth into the 2017 edition of the best and worst jokes the online legal community has to offer – now with 100 per cent more memes. 

Joke 1
Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three – one to climb the ladder, one to shake it and one to sue the ladder company.
Source: iciclesoftware.com

 
Source: lawyerissues.com

Joke 2
A man phones a lawyer and asks, “How much would you charge for just answering three simple questions?”.
The lawyer replies, “A thousand dollars”.
“A thousand dollars!” exclaims the man. “That’s very expensive, isn’t it?”
“It certainly is,” says the lawyer. “Now, what’s your third question?”
Source: swapmeetdave.com

 
Source: buzzfeed.com

Joke 3
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean and they got to talking. The lawyer mentioned, “I’m here because my house burned down and everything got destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.”
“That’s quite a coincidence,” remarked the engineer. “I’m here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood. My insurance company, too, paid for everything.”
There was a brief pause and then the puzzled lawyer asked, “How do you start a flood?”.
Source: swapmeetdave.com

 
Source: bitterempire.com

Joke 4

A lawyer emailed a client: “Dear Jennifer: Thought I saw you on the street the other day. Crossed over to say hello, but it wasn’t you, so I went back. One tenth of an hour: $30.”
Source: rd.com

 
Source: quickmeme.com

Joke 5
A man walking on the beach came across an odd-looking bottle. Not being one to ignore tradition, he rubbed it and, much to his surprise, a genie actually appeared.
“For releasing me from the bottle, I will grant you three wishes,” said the genie. “But there’s a catch. For each of your wishes, every lawyer in the world will receive double what you asked for.”
First, the man wished for a Ferrari. POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of him.
“Now every lawyer in the world has been given two Ferraris,” said the genie. “What is your next wish?”
“I could really use a million dollars,” replied the man, and POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
“Now, every lawyer in the world is two million dollars richer,” the genie reminded the man, and then asked him for his third wish.
The man thought for a minute and said, “Well, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney”.
Source: swapmeetdave.com

   
Source: lawyerissues.com

Joke 6
Q: What’s wrong with lawyer jokes?
A: Lawyers don’t think they’re funny and other people don’t think they’re jokes.
Source: swapmeetdave.com

Check out part one here!

Like this story? Read more:

QLS condemns actions of disgraced lawyer as ‘stain on the profession’

NSW proposes big justice reforms to target risk of reoffending

The legal budget breakdown 2017

World's best (and worst) lawyer jokes: part 2
lawyersweekly logo
Promoted content
Recommended by Spike Native Network
more from lawyers weekly
Animal law moots, advocacy, Melbourne University, Australia and New Zealand Intervarsity Moot on Animal Law
Sep 25 2017
Moot unleashes animal advocacy
Melbourne has played host to one of the largest animal law moots, with student participants put th...
Scales
Sep 25 2017
Transgender teens should not need legal approval for hormone treatment, court hears
A transgender 17-year-old known as Kelvin has appealed in the Family Court against the requirement o...
Appointed, Victorian Legal Services Commissioner
Sep 25 2017
NFP CEO appointed Victorian Legal Services Commissioner
The CEO of a Victorian not-for profit pro bono legal services provider has been named as the state...
APPOINTMENTS
Allens managing partner Richard Spurio, image courtesy Allens' website
Jun 21 2017
Promo season at Allens
A group of lawyers at Allens have received promotions across its PNG and Australian offices. ...
May 11 2017
Partner exits for in-house role
A Victorian lawyer has left the partnership of a national firm to start a new gig with state governm...
Esteban Gomez
May 11 2017
National firm recruits ‘major asset’
A national law firm has announced it has appointed a new corporate partner who brings over 15 years'...
opinion
Nicole Rich
May 16 2017
Access to justice for young transgender Australians
Reform is looming for the process that young transgender Australians and their families must current...
Geoff Roberson
May 11 2017
The lighter side of the law: when law and comedy collide
On the face of it, there doesn’t seem to be much that is amusing about the law, writes Geoff Rober...
Help
May 10 2017
Advocate’s immunity – without fear or without favour but not both
On 29 March 2017, the High Court handed down its decision in David Kendirjian v Eugene Lepore & ...