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World's best (and worst) lawyer jokes: part 2

World's best (and worst) lawyer jokes: part 2

Teacup

In a demanding profession like the law, it can be easy to forget about the lighter side of things. Fortunately, Lawyers Weekly has curated some of the best (and worst) law jokes on the internet to brighten up your day. 

Sink your teeth into the 2017 edition of the best and worst jokes the online legal community has to offer – now with 100 per cent more memes. 

Joke 1
Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three – one to climb the ladder, one to shake it and one to sue the ladder company.
Source: iciclesoftware.com

 
Source: lawyerissues.com

Joke 2
A man phones a lawyer and asks, “How much would you charge for just answering three simple questions?”.
The lawyer replies, “A thousand dollars”.
“A thousand dollars!” exclaims the man. “That’s very expensive, isn’t it?”
“It certainly is,” says the lawyer. “Now, what’s your third question?”
Source: swapmeetdave.com

 
Source: buzzfeed.com

Joke 3
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean and they got to talking. The lawyer mentioned, “I’m here because my house burned down and everything got destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.”
“That’s quite a coincidence,” remarked the engineer. “I’m here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood. My insurance company, too, paid for everything.”
There was a brief pause and then the puzzled lawyer asked, “How do you start a flood?”.
Source: swapmeetdave.com

 
Source: bitterempire.com

Joke 4

A lawyer emailed a client: “Dear Jennifer: Thought I saw you on the street the other day. Crossed over to say hello, but it wasn’t you, so I went back. One tenth of an hour: $30.”
Source: rd.com

 
Source: quickmeme.com

Joke 5
A man walking on the beach came across an odd-looking bottle. Not being one to ignore tradition, he rubbed it and, much to his surprise, a genie actually appeared.
“For releasing me from the bottle, I will grant you three wishes,” said the genie. “But there’s a catch. For each of your wishes, every lawyer in the world will receive double what you asked for.”
First, the man wished for a Ferrari. POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of him.
“Now every lawyer in the world has been given two Ferraris,” said the genie. “What is your next wish?”
“I could really use a million dollars,” replied the man, and POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
“Now, every lawyer in the world is two million dollars richer,” the genie reminded the man, and then asked him for his third wish.
The man thought for a minute and said, “Well, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney”.
Source: swapmeetdave.com

   
Source: lawyerissues.com

Joke 6
Q: What’s wrong with lawyer jokes?
A: Lawyers don’t think they’re funny and other people don’t think they’re jokes.
Source: swapmeetdave.com

Check out part one here!

Like this story? Read more:

QLS condemns actions of disgraced lawyer as ‘stain on the profession’

NSW proposes big justice reforms to target risk of reoffending

The legal budget breakdown 2017

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