Mentor or Coach? Why We're Asking the Wrong Question
There’s a well-worn piece of advice that we hear over and over in professional circles - almost like a rite of passage: “Make sure you get a mentor.”
And look — I get it. Mentoring is extremely valuable. A good mentor can show you the ropes, help you avoid obvious pitfalls, and give you the benefit of their hindsight. But as well-meaning as that advice is, I can’t help but wonder:
Are we too focused on looking backward to move forward?
Mentoring often centres around someone else’s experience — what they did, what worked for them, what they wish they had known. It’s steeped in legacy. And while there’s wisdom in history, there’s also a danger: we risk becoming experts at repeating the past instead of evolving into something new.
That’s why I believe the real question we should be asking isn’t:
“Who is mentoring you?” — but rather, “Do you have a coach?”
Because coaching is not about how someone else did it. It’s not about their war stories or tried-and-true formulas. Coaching is about you. It’s a powerful, forward-focused relationship that puts your values, your goals, your identity, and your choices at the centre. Not theirs.
Don’t get me wrong — mentoring definitely has its place. It’s incredibly helpful when you’re entering a new industry, navigating unspoken rules, or just trying to understand the landscape. But that’s the starting line — not the finish.
Mentoring can teach you how things were done. Coaching helps you discover how you want to do things.
In a world that’s rapidly changing, clinging too tightly to “this is how I did it” can hold us back. It can limit creativity, reinforce outdated norms, and unintentionally stifle innovation. What if the next generation doesn’t want to climb the same ladder — or even be in the same building?
What if they want to build something entirely new?
That’s where coaching becomes essential. A good coach doesn’t tell you what to do. They ask the right questions, challenge your assumptions, and create a space for clarity and courage. Coaching helps you reflect, choose consciously, and take action that aligns with who you are now — and who you want to become.
And let’s be really clear: coaching isn’t just for those at the beginning of their journey. It’s just as vital — if not more so — for those who are already established and successful. In fact, the more senior you are, the more valuable coaching becomes.
Why? Because success brings complexity. You’re no longer just doing the work — you’re shaping culture, making strategic decisions, influencing others, and often carrying the weight of responsibility for a team, a business, or a brand. People look to you for answers, direction, and composure. But who do you look to when you need space to think, be challenged, or grow?
Coaching gives high performers that space — to zoom out, to reflect, and to think beyond the urgent. It helps clarify purpose, align values with action, and navigate difficult territory with intention. It’s not about being told what to do. It’s about elevating how you think, decide, lead, and evolve.
And ironically, the more successful you become, the harder it is to find someone who will tell you the truth — someone who will ask the uncomfortable questions, hold up the mirror, and help you stretch beyond your current edge. That’s the role a great coach plays.
So yes — find a mentor if you need one. But please, don’t stop there. Get a coach. Not just because it’s about you — but because it’s about who you could become if you stop trying to follow someone else’s path and start forging your own.
Because evolution doesn’t come from copying.
It comes from courage.
Curious about how coaching could support your growth?
I’m offering a limited number of complimentary 30-minute coaching conversations this month — designed to give you a taste of the clarity and insight coaching can offer. Get in touch to book yours.
© 2025 Joseph Germano
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About the Author Joseph Germano is an executive coach, former lawyer, and long-time legal recruiter with over 25 years’ experience in the profession. He now works with legal professionals, leaders and teams to help them navigate transitions, lead with authenticity, and reconnect with what matters most. You can connect with Joseph on LinkedIn or learn more at www.jlegal.com.au/executive-coaching
