Despite being at the centre of lengthy and difficult family law matters, children and young people said they felt ignored, betrayed and let down by the system. With a new toolkit on hand, a socio-legal scholar explains why their views are so important and how to engage with them.
In one of over 40 interviews with children and young people caught up in highly emotional and complex family law proceedings, an 11-year-old boy told legal researcher and Southern Cross University Associate Professor Georgina Dimopoulos: “I was talking and talking and telling my story but nothing ever changed so I stopped.”
Another said they felt betrayed to learn something they spoke about in confidence had been shared with others, and a third insisted he would have never opened up to a family law professional if he knew his dad would find out. Many said it was like “Chinese whispers”, with the final result far different from what they initially said.
With support from the university, Save the Children’s 54 reasons, and Youth Law Australia, Dimopoulous used this feedback to create Family Law 4 Kids, an online toolkit that supports children to participate meaningfully and safely in family law matters.
Launching on 23 October, the toolkit was designed by and for children and young people, right down to the name. The young participants and their stories were essential in creating a tool that would ensure their voices were heard in decision-making processes.
“We asked each child and young person what they would like to offer other children and young people whose parents are separated and are going through the family system, and there were three key messages that kept coming up: one was that it’s not your fault, the second was you’re not alone, and the third was things will get better.
“Those themes and messages are reflected in the toolkit itself, as well as children and young people’s animations, voiceovers and other audio-visual content that makes it really focused on children’s rights to participation,” Dimopoulos said.
Family Law 4 Kids will release the same week as the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia’s (FCFCOA) Children’s Charter and Kids’ Corner, two projects that promote the court’s commitment to children’s decision making in a safe and meaningful way.
Dimopoulos has spent the last 15 years researching in the areas of children’s rights and family law and has observed that children feel they have been kept in the dark during the decision-making process and have had their feelings ignored.
One of the stronger messages that came from the research was that children and young people felt they were spoken to only as a “tick-the-box exercise”. What they wanted most was a direct form of communication without it filtering through multiple adults.
This was particularly important where children and young people had some experience with family violence and wanted a meaningful and safe way to communicate their views.
“Another big thing that came through this research was young people talking about losing trust and feeling betrayed because what they said to a professional was relayed back to their parents or someone else, and they didn’t understand the privacy or confidentiality of what they were sharing. There was a sense of young people feeling let down by the system,” Dimopoulos said.
Recently, Dimopoulos noticed more willingness among young people to be involved in mediation and dispute resolution.
Family law professionals have also been more receptive to the idea that children should be both seen and heard, as well as “listened to and respected as active players” whose views are valid. It is Dimopoulos’ hope that the toolkit continues to encourage this.
Included in the toolkit is a form that children and young people can either fill out on their own or with a trusted adult, which would allow them to share whether they wanted to have a say in proceedings, how they might do that, who can help them, and how to learn more.
There is also a who’s who in the family law process, based on feedback from a lot of the young participants who said they were not sure who they were talking to and how they fit into the process.
Another section offers children an avenue if they are unhappy with professional support. Dimopoulos said this came from the importance of children “not only knowing about their rights, but being able to exercise those rights effectively”.
Parents and carers, as well as professionals involved in the broader child and family law sector, can use the toolkit.
For lawyers who are open to involving more children and young people in the process, Dimopoulos advised them not to be “afraid to engage directly with them”.
“Children and young people have said judges should meet with them; they have said, if you can talk to a human being, you can talk to a human. Children and young people want to feel part of the process and not be treated differently because they’re a child,” she added.
Naomi Neilson is a senior journalist with a focus on court reporting for Lawyers Weekly.
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