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Folklaw 3 June

Folklaw 3 June

The guns are not enoughThe authors of an editorial in the British Medical Journal have called for a follow up on gun reform — a ban on the sale of long, pointed kitchen knives in a bid to…

The guns are not enough

The authors of an editorial in the British Medical Journal have called for a follow up on gun reform — a ban on the sale of long, pointed kitchen knives in a bid to reduce violent crime. The authors, Drs Emma Hern, Will Glazebrook and Mike Beckett of the West Middlesex University Hospital in London stated that there should be laws requiring knives to be manufactured with rounded, blunt tips. They claimed that the sharp point was a throw back to the middle ages when people used to spear meat rather than slice it, and that after questioning 10 chefs in England, none could come up with an actual use for the pointy end. However, John Schwartz of the New York Times reported last week that the calls had provoked outrage from at least one American chef. Anthony Bourdain, executive chef at Les Halles said the proposal was “yet another sign of the coming apocalypse”. He described knives as beloved tools of the trade and “not a thing to be shaped by bureaucrats”. Well, everyone has to have one passion in life.

Revenge of the what?

Malaysian police are looking for a man who has been flashing unsuspecting factory workers while strutting about in a Darth Vader costume. The man has exposed himself to women in two industrial areas of Bandar Baru Nilai. Apparently the man pulled up at a bus stop where about 15 female workers were standing, got out of his car and paraded around menacingly. The workers thought he must be an obsessed fan merely showing off his costume, but he was looking to show off much more than that. His bravado was all a front however, and witnesses would have seen a cowering Darth Vader running back to his car and fleeing after the women screamed.

Too nice a day

We all know the feeling — it’s a gorgeous day outside, sun shining, a faint breeze, and we are stuck inside under fluorescent lights, staring at a computer screen and fielding phone calls from demanding clients. Well, a businessman in the Ukraine decided enough was enough last week, and confronted by the horror of passing another beautiful day indoors, wandered out to Leo Tolstoy Square, stripped down to his underwear and lay on the pavement for about half an hour. Unfortunately, he was arrested for his trouble, for causing a disturbance no less. Folklaw thinks he should have been given a medal and had a park named after him instead!

How late?

A study conducted by UK motorists’ website GetMeThere.co.uk has finally revealed just how late is late — 10 minutes and 17 seconds to be precise. The survey revealed that this is the threshold at which people feel they have to call and notify the necessary parties that they will be late. So, next time you are running late for a meeting with an important client, or waiting on them, you will have the etiquette squared away. But make sure you don’t call a moment before the 17-second mark. You wouldn’t want anyone to think you were rude.

Gritty Granny

Police in Charlotte, North Carolina were forced to arrest, 86-year-old Dorothy Densmore, after she dialled 911 20 times in 38 minutes. Her emergency? She couldn’t get a pizza delivered to her home. But her angry reaction earned her nothing but prison rations when she spent two nights behind bars. Densmore became indignant when the delivery was refused and someone at the pizza shop allegedly called her a “crazy old coot”. She demanded police arrest the proprietors, not imagining that the cuffs would instead be slapped on her. Densmore, all 152 centimetres and 45 kilograms of her was also charged with resisting arrest after she scratched, kicked and bit the hand of an officer. Next time, Folklaw imagines the police will just deliver the pizza to the ‘old dear’ themselves.

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