In the legal profession, there’s often an unspoken perception that being a parent and pursuing a progressive legal career can’t go hand in hand. But Marial Lewis is challenging that idea, asking simply – “why not?”
Speaking on a recent episode of The Boutique Lawyer Show, Marial Lewis, the principal solicitor and founder of Crossover Law Group, opened up about the assumption that parenthood and a successful legal career are incompatible, and emphasised the need to challenge this notion.
In the same episode, she discussed why she chose to take the plunge of opening up her own law firm during such a pivotal time in her life, and shared how she has balanced the demands of running a law firm while being a dedicated mother.
Lewis pointed out that there is currently a growing trend of “people leaving the legal field” – something she has seen firsthand, particularly among those who become parents. Often, she said, it stems from the perception that “you can’t do it and you can’t have both”.
However, she rejects this limitation placed on lawyers who are working parents, arguing that the real questions to ask should be “Why not?” and “What’s the alternative?”
Rather than walking away from a profession she’s passionate about, Lewis has built a career on her own terms while still being a present mother to her three children, supported by a partner who recognises that success is a team effort.
“What’s the best for the whole family? My husband has been amazing. He’s like ‘How about this?’ I take a bit of a hold back on a few things, and things are working out for you. Let’s put the accelerator on that and let me see what I can do to help you with that. That’s amazing. That’s teamwork,” she said.
She explained that support systems play a vital role, and “seeing who’s around you” to offer assistance serves as the unseen scaffolding that helps high-achieving parents keep going. However, Lewis acknowledged that many in this position “don’t have that village or community” to lean on.
Lewis believes that the perception that being a parent and pursuing a progressive legal career are incompatible calls for a modern solution – one she suggests lies in letting go of the need to do it all alone.
“I was listening to this podcast the other day, and it said rich people or people who are smart, they don’t just struggle in silence; they go and see a problem and they go hire someone to fix it,” she said.
“I was like, that is so smart. How many times do we try to do everything on our own? We try to do everything on our own in our firms. We try to do everything on our own in our personal lives. In many things, it’s wise to get counsel. It’s wise to get people on board.”
However, Lewis emphasised the importance of being selective about who you lean on for support and guidance, cautioning that some advice can steer you in the wrong direction.
“But again, we have to be very careful who we listen to and in what capacity, because a lot of people put on a different persona and portray something that’s not true and being in a community,” she said.
“If I stayed with a community that said it’s really hard being a parent, and it’s not doable, and if I followed really mean things that were spoken to me by other people who say, this is not doable. What are you going to do? I’m like, excuse me. No, I can do this.”
For those who feel pressured to accept the belief that being a successful lawyer and an involved parent are mutually exclusive, Lewis offers a clear message: don’t buy into the myth – instead, ask yourself, what’s the alternative?
“What’s the alternative? The alternative is that we change the narrative. We change how law firms are being run, we change how the industry is being run, and we think about what impact we can make in our own little world to do it the way we want to do it. Yes. There’s still a long way to go, but it doesn’t have to be based on what was said before,” she said.
