Psychological safety vital to combat ‘emotional intensity’ in family law

Addressing psychological risks is also no longer just an employee wellbeing issue, with it now governed by codes and regulations that require organisations to take these matters seriously.

As a practice area often characterised by conflict, emotional distress, and high stakes, practitioners in family law function not only as legal advisers but also frequently as emotional support systems for their clients. Nevertheless, the mental and emotional toll associated with their role is commonly neglected – an oversight that can lead to serious personal and professional repercussions.

As such, there’s a pressing need to prioritise psychological safety within this space, ensuring that adequate support and ongoing wellbeing remain a priority.

The emotional toll of family law

Family lawyers face distinct psychological stressors, stemming from the unique characteristics of their work compared to other areas of legal practice.

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Amanda Elias, principal solicitor at Greenleaf Legal, highlighted that the responsibilities in family law extend beyond merely offering legal advice. They also include managing the emotional challenges that arise from supporting vulnerable clients, all while maintaining composure to address their legal issues effectively.

“One of the biggest stressors family lawyers face is the emotional intensity of the work. We’re not just dealing with legal issues – we’re navigating some of the most deeply personal human conflicts. We’ve got heartbreak, betrayal, affairs, trauma, mental health crises, domestic violence, safety concerns, substance abuse, [and] gambling. And it’s all on repeat,” she said.

“Clients often come to us at their absolute lowest. They are overwhelmed, angry, [and] devastated. But our job is to stay calm, solve the legal problem, manage the emotional fallout, and hit a deadline. We absorb our client’s stress, carry it, and then do the same for the other 50 or 60 matters on our shelf, and sometimes simultaneously. It’s a perfect recipe for burnout.”

Sonia Haidamous, a senior associate at SLF Lawyers, confirmed the emotional weight that comes with this area of law, particularly while assisting clients during their most challenging moments.

“Whether dealing with separation, parenting disputes, or matters involving family violence, the emotional intensity is a constant presence. Clients are often navigating some of the most difficult periods of their lives, and as lawyers, we’re expected to guide them through not only the legal complexities but also the emotional turbulence that comes with it,” she said.

This is especially true for small law firms – where too many firm owners struggle to “sleep, rest, and switch off” because they find it difficult to maintain a psychologically safe working environment for themselves or their staff.

Haidamous also added that family lawyers must cope with the pressure of keeping up with constantly changing laws and procedures, which adds an extra load to their already demanding workloads.

“We must remain up to date with frequent changes in legislation, court rules, and practice standards, all while managing an active caseload. It’s a profession that demands resilience, sound judgment under pressure, and the ability to maintain clarity amid conflict,” she said.

“Despite these challenges, many of us find the work deeply meaningful. Helping clients through such critical moments is both a responsibility and a privilege, and with the right support, it remains a rewarding and impactful area of legal practice.”

Jenna Downy, managing director of LEAP Family Law, concurred with this, emphasising the necessity for family lawyers to “consume educational content to learn about these amendments, plan their work and advice in light of these changes, and work through a period of uncertainty as the changes come into effect”.

Given that family law matters are rarely resolved quickly, Elias also emphasised that one of the significant psychological stressors for practitioners in this area is the constant urgency, which often comes at the expense of their personal lives.

“Family law doesn’t deal in leisurely timelines. Most things are pressing: domestic violence incidents, children not returned home on time (if at all), or a property about to be sold without consent. It’s go-go-go,” she said.

“Urgent applications might need to be filed on 24 hours’ notice. That’s all layered over heavy admin loads, tight court deadlines, our own personal problems, and the increasing expectation to be ‘always on’.”

Downy also pointed out that handling difficult opposing parties can be a significant burden for family lawyers, explaining how “working with an unreasonable or non-specialist lawyer on the other side, or self-represented litigant can escalate stress, complicate negotiations, and hinder progress in cases”.

The cost of ignoring the crisis

As regulatory frameworks continue to evolve, new workplace legislation is also shining a spotlight on the issue, pushing firms to take “proactive steps to ensure compliance”.

However, for law firms, addressing psychosocial hazards goes beyond simply avoiding penalties.

Elias emphasised that the impact of unaddressed psychological stressors in family law can be a serious concern over time.

“Unaddressed psychological stress isn’t just background noise – it builds like pressure in a cooker, and eventually, something has to give. The consequences are real and multi-layered: burnout, anxiety, compassion fatigue (not unlike what nurses, social workers, and counsellors experience), and physical illness,” she said.

These consequences can be “far-reaching”, impacting an individual’s personal and professional lives – and Haidamous indicated that exposure to emotionally charged cases without adequate support may lead to “burnout, chronic stress, anxiety, or emotional exhaustion”.

She further highlighted that this has significant repercussions for legal practitioners, as many family lawyers “find it difficult to fully disconnect from their work, which can lead to disrupted sleep, reduced concentration, and strain on personal relationships”.

These are also experiences Elias has faced.

“I’ve walked out of high-conflict matters feeling emotionally wrung out, especially when the case involves children, family violence, or vulnerable clients. It’s incredibly hard to switch off when you genuinely care,” she said.

“That emotional juggling act takes a toll – physically, mentally, and emotionally. The long hours (I’ll easily clock 80 to 100 hours most weeks) mean I often sacrifice time with my children. I’ve missed dance recitals, cross-country carnivals, and bedtime cuddles. And yes, it hurts.”

On the professional front, Elias noted that the consequences could be “just as serious”, with cognitive overload leading to client-related mistakes and even prompting some individuals to leave “the area of law or the progression altogether”.

‘If we’re emotionally depleted or physically or mentally stressed, we simply can’t give ourselves, yet alone our clients, 100 per cent. Unmanaged stress leads to reduced productivity, poor morale, high staff turnover, resentment toward the work, and in some cases, reputational risk for firms,” she said.

“If skilled, compassionate family lawyers continue to step away or emotionally tap out of the profession, we don’t just lose talent, we lose mentorship, experience, and the kind of empathy this area of law relies on.”

Downy expressed similar views, noting that lawyers are increasingly choosing to “leave the profession to remove these professional stressors” or transition to different firms in pursuit of “better support and work-life balance”.

The consequences of these issues extend far beyond the individual, as Downy outlined that these unaddressed psychological stressors compromise a lawyer’s capacity to provide adequate support to their clients.

“When a lawyer is experiencing psychological stressors, it can significantly impair their capacity to support clients effectively. This emotional strain may limit the lawyer’s ability to remain empathetic, and responsive, which are needed to guide clients through what is often a stressful or emotionally charged time in their lives,” she said.

“As a result, the lawyer may struggle to manage clients’ emotional and practical needs, potentially leading to dissatisfaction and strained client relationships.”

Rebuilding culture from the inside out

To promote the psychological wellbeing of family lawyers, Haidamous said law firms play a crucial role in tackling this critical issue and ensuring that genuine change takes place.

Firms should foster an environment that encourages open conversations around mental health, allowing individuals to feel safe discussing and sharing such issues without fear of judgment, Haidamous said.

“Open dialogue around mental health should be encouraged and normalised. Creating an environment where lawyers feel comfortable discussing stress or seeking support without fear of judgment or stigma is essential,” she said.

“This can be reinforced by visible leadership support and regular discussions around wellbeing in team meetings or professional development sessions.”

Haidamous also stressed the importance of workload management, urging firms to establish robust systems that prevent lawyers from becoming overwhelmed by excessive caseloads or stretching themselves too thin.

“Workload management is another critical factor. Firms can implement systems to monitor caseloads, ensuring lawyers are not routinely overextended, particularly with high-conflict or emotionally draining matters,” she said.

“Encouraging realistic expectations around availability, both from clients and within the firm, helps to maintain healthier boundaries and supports a more sustainable pace of work.”

Elias also echoed the need for firm-led support in managing workloads.

“We need to prioritise manageable caseloads. Reduce unrealistic billable targets. Check in often. Providing solid admin support is essential as it helps lawyers stay organised, feel supported, and focus their time on the legal work,” she said.

For real change to take place, Elias emphasised that token gestures are not enough. What is truly needed, she argued, is a genuine cultural shift that acknowledges the emotional toll of working in family law.

“It starts with acknowledging the truth: family law is emotionally heavy work, and we need to be having real conversations about that. It’s not just paperwork and court deadlines. It’s sitting with people at their absolute lowest, helping them navigate trauma, heartbreak, and high-stakes decisions that deeply impact their lives,” she said.

“So, no, law firms can’t just toss a fruit bowl in the kitchen and call it ‘wellbeing’ (and yes, I’ve worked in a few of those places). We need to go deeper.”

Haidamous also explained that promoting flexible working models and protecting time away from the office is vital.

“Flexible working arrangements, including hybrid or remote options, can further support wellbeing by allowing lawyers to better manage their time and personal commitments. Encouraging regular breaks, annual leave, and uninterrupted time away from work are also practical ways firms can demonstrate that wellbeing is a priority, not just a policy,” she said.

Elias shared similar views, stressing that work/life balance is essential for family lawyers and must be more than just lip service, as genuine flexibility can make a significant difference.

“We need to actually deliver on ‘work/life balance’, not just say we offer it. Not everyone thrives in a strict nine-to-five or in an open-plan office. Give people autonomy. Offer remote work. Allow later starts after a heavy day. Offer an early mark to catch the school concert. A bit of trust and flexibility goes a long way in protecting mental health and in building a workplace people want to stay in,” she said.

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